Guan Yu

Guan Yu (pro. gwon yoo; born June 12, 1952) (also known as Guan Yunchang, Guan Gong, Guan Di, Kwan Yu, Kan'u, or Sangharama) is a member of the Barney Bunch. He is an extremely gay Chinese warrior with a 250-mile long cock who loves to rape men with his mighty guan dao-shaped dildo (which he named Blue Faggot) and to have rough stinky sweaty gay buttsex orgies with his sworn-brothers Liu Bei and Zhang Fei and his sons Guan Ping (aka Guan Penis) and Guan Xing (aka Guan Shit). He originally starred in the Dynasty Warriors games until he was kicked out by KOEI for raping all the male characters and threatening to smack all the females to death with his dick. Pissed off by this, he decided to join the Barney Bunch to get his revenge on them, as well as have gay orgies with Lu Meng and Cao Cao. Guan Yu hates his daughter Guan Yinping because she is a woman and he always treats her like shit. Because of this, he made her join the Betty Bunch. He also hates his youngest son Guan Suo because he is straight and is always jacking off to straight porn, thus he made him join Waternoose Incorporated.

Guan Yu's best butt-buddies are Zhao Yun, Lu Xun, Cao Cao, Lu Meng, Zhang Liao, Lu Bu, Gan Ning, Zhuge Liang, Xu Zhu, Dong Zhuo, Ma Chao, Xiahou Dun, Dian Wei, Taishi Ci, Sima Yi, Mitsuhide Akechi, Ujimasa Hojo, Miyamoto Musashi, Nobunaga Oda, Shingen Takeda, Kenshin Uesugi, Edward the Black Prince, William Wallace, Achilles, Gilgamesh, Julius Caesar, Hernan Cortez, Attila the Hun, Napoleon Bonaparte, George Washington, Genghis Khan, and Gyuki the Penis Boar. Not to forget The Painter.

He is also the Commander of the Drewland Armed Forces, as well as the Chinese teacher at Drewland High School and a gay pimp. His ho's are Arthur Read, Caillou, Luigi, Shinji Hikari, and Ernie the Testicle Smashing Midget. He is also one of the M-san Bunch's most important allies in the Barney Bunch.

Guan Yu's Pornos
See here for more info.

Fun Facts

 * Guan Yu's beard is so manly and sexy, it could make any gay man looking at it jizz over 9000 gallons of cum.
 * Guan Yu always wears the color green because it reminds him of the green shit that comes out of Liu Bei's ass.
 * Guan Yu first met Drew Pickles on May 11, 1985, when Drew was filming his latest porno, Cocksuckers from China. Drew even let him co-star in the porno. However, Guan Yu didn't join the Barney Bunch until March 21, 2008, when he was fired from KOEI.
 * Guan Yu is very good friends with the M-san Bunch members/Nonsexist Bunch leaders ROTK Guan Yu and OVA Belldandy (despite the former being a clone of him, and the latter being female). His other friends from the M-san Bunch include Major Bedhead, Wally Bear, Little Creek, and Danny Dingo.
 * He and The Painter are rivals, and normally compete for the top spot, despite someone, (usually Zor,) beats them in the end. I.e, The Wiki.
 * Guan Yu's arch-enemy is SMITE Guan Yu, his homophobic clone from the Nega-Barney Bunch.

Gallery
See here for more info.