Talon Company

''"This ain't what I signed up for!"

- Talon Company merc before getting raped by Drew Pickles''

Talon Company (more commonly known in Drewland as Moron Company) is a major enemy of the Barney Bunch, and the biggest group of homophobes in the Capital Wasteland. It is cross between Blackwater and the Westboro Baptist Church. It is led by Commander Jabsco and is made up of extremely homophobic mercenaries who murder gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and grunge fans for cash. Their uniforms consist of black combat armor with a white claw emblem, and their weapons include assault rifles, sub-machine guns, and shotguns. They always plot to assassinate Drew Pickles, but they always fail, since Drew always rapes them to death. Currently, they are teaming up with Waternoose Incorporated, The Rusty Group, and the Thalmor to take down not only the Barney Bunch, but also The M-san Bunch, The Lady Kluck Klan, The Betty Bunch, The Pube Gang, The Humongous Bunch, The Gay Creepypasta Gang, and the Ketchum Klan.