Ulfric Stormcloak

Ulfric Stormcloak, better known as Ulfag Sploogecock, (born August 15, 1948) is a member of the Barney Bunch and the gayest man in Skyrim. He is the Jarl of Windhelm and the leader of the Sploogecocks. His mission is to become the High King of Skyrim so he can exterminate all the heterosexuals and females in Skyrim in order to make Skyrim the second gayest country in the world behind Drewland. He murdered the High King Torygg by raping him in the ass with his 80-mile long cock. Ulfric hates both the Empire and the Thalmor because they are all homophobes. His best butt-buddies are Alduin, Ondolemar (who betrayed the Thalmor and became a member of the M-san Bunch), Jarl Balgruuf the Greater, Skjor, Delvin Mallory, Idolaf Battle-Born, Miraak, Kodlak Whitemane, M'aiq the Liar (he finds M'aiq's lies very arousing), the male Dragonborn, the Greybeards, and Caesar from Fallout New Vegas.