Beach Bear

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Beach Bear
Beach Bear.jpg
Beach Bear prior to raping someone at a Showbiz Pizza Place
Personal Information
Birthday: November 28, 1967
Age: 49
Zodiac: Rooster
Occupation: Gay porn actor, singer, rapist, stripper, mental asylum escapee
Residence: Drewland
Nationality: Antarctican (birth), Drewish
Heritage: Antarctican
Orientation: Homosexual
Groups: The Barney Bunch
Relationships: Rolfe DeWolfe (boyfriend), Terra (on-occasion girlfriend)
Origin: Rock-afire Explosion animatronic shows
Videos: Infinity
Penis Size: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 parsecs long

Beach Bear is a really really really really really really really really really really really really gay bear who enjoys fucking Rolfe DeWolfe and they like to go to shitty rundown establishments like Burger Boy, K-Mart, Showbiz Pizza Place, Toys "R" Us, Chuck E. Cheese's, Roy Rogers Restaurants, Arthur Treacher's Fish & Chips, and Best Buy and when they arrive there they immediately strip off all of their fucking clothes in the middle of the god-damn establishment and begin playing with their animal cocks and shit in their eyes and piss on their penises and fart in their ears and fuck their penis holes and shit on each other's penis holes and giving each other hand jobs and blow jobs and cleveland steamers and mold the leftover shit into a dildo and taking turns shoving the dildo up their bum-bum's and then eat the dildo and shit the dildo and reverse-shit the dildo and shit the dildo back out and eat the dildo again and shit the dildo out of their mouths and eat the dildo using their animal assholes and smoke some dank marijuana they used as dildis when they went to their local marijuana dispensary and shove everything up their assholes and have all the shit-corns of children be their gay sissy boy toilet slaves and engage in a super motherfucking huge orgy with their new sex slaves and then everyone who frequent the establishments will stop what they're doing and begin recording the sexy-ness with their iPhones and other things with cameras on them and upload them to YouTube and other video streaming websites for everyone to see and then they fuck their manager and it is so swell.

While not raping Rolfe is forced to resort to raping an, urgh, lesbian woman named Terra.

He has the largest penis in the Speakonia universe, beating out his gaylord Drew Pickles and even Satan, at 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 parsecs long, though it's really really really thin, so he calls it his "pencil penis"

He has a HUGE crossdressing fetish, and occupies female roles alot.


Beach Bear was born in 1967 in Antarctica. He and his parents were kidnapped by poachers and had their faces shaven, but then they fell into mutagen and became really gay poopy faggots (except for his mom, who is a lesbian woman bisexual).


  • He once attempted to blow up Fat Pizza. Bobo was able to rebuild it though.
  • Beach Bear's IQ level is estimated at 99999999999999999999999999999999999999.99999999999999999999999999999999999999, the highest known IQ for a Barney Bunch member.
  • He mostly listens to The Beach Boys because he is unable to play Grunge for the reason that he fails at doing it.