Heavy

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Heavy is a member of The Barney Bunch. His best b*tt buddies include Scout, Spy, Pyro, Engineer, Medic, Soldier, Demoman, and Sniper; in that order. He has a 207 mile long c*ck which weighs a ton, which is why he is named "Heavy". His true love is his gun named Sasha, named after the talentless actor Sacha Baron Cohen. Sasha weighs fifty grams and fires two hundred c*cks per second. He loves to eat sandviches which he loads with Viagra, which give him the energy to go out and r*pe. In his free time, he likes to make extra money in pr*stit*tion. It costs four dollars to f*ck him for twelve hundred thousand minutes (approximately 2.28 years). His favorite word is POOTIS.