Master Zik

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Ready to shove his cane into a certain place.

"Time for a lesson. In respect." -Preparing for battle.

  • Height: 2 feet
  • Weight: 17.6 lbs
  • IQ:369
  • Born: January 20th 977.

Master Zik is a member of The Barney Bunch. He is the founder of The Deadly Six, and tried to teach the other members to be like him. He uses apples, and his cane as d*ldis, and uses them on his butt buddies. Speaking of which, they are Zor, The Quaker Qu**r, and The Painter. He is a fan of getting people's mail lost using UPS Ground with no tracking. He hates baby pokemon, since they take up space.

Early Life

Similar to how P*be Muppet was born, he was created when Barney pooped into a bowl, after Barney watched straight p*rn for the first time, he got very angry, so he pooped into said bowl, hence Master Zik came out. This would mean, Master Zik is the son of Barney. However, Master Zik left the dinosaur, and took care of himself, becoming one with nature. He became friends with the Quaker Qu**r in 1759. Eventually, he tried to teach Zavok about his ways, 1000 years later that is. Zavok was too racist, and sexist, he failed. Zazz was too violent, a second failure. Zomom was too fat, and stupid, a third failure. Zeena was into feet, more than p*nises (technically a fourth failure). However, after realizing Zor's abilities, he had found a perfect student. He treats his students, like children in a way, or how P*be Cookie Monster treats his boys.


He tries to teach Barney Bunch members, to be more patient while waiting in long a** lines, in particular, Drew Pickles. For most of his students, it works, however, Drew fails on purpose, to get Zik's cane up his a**. He has a 900,000 mile long c*ck. He is also a p*mp, although not many know about it. He has cash, and a sexy mustache. Not to mention, he is also good at surfing using his cane.