Maynard James Keenan

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Maynard James Keenan (b. April 17, 13780000000 BC) is a member of the Barney Bunch, and a former member of the Lady Kluck Klan. He is mostly known for being a member and singer of Tool. He along with his band moved to Drewland in 1991. He also plants very swell stuff for his wine. It is made up of millions of parabolas, and you have to be sober to drink them. He was first seen when he wore spandex back in the 1980s. Many Barney Bunch members found it really swell, but it was sadly forgotten until January 13, 2014. Ripper Roo and Kurt Cobain asked if Maynard James Keenan could join the Barney Bunch, and he said "yes". He is also the oldest Barney Bunch member ever to exist (YES, he's even older than Barney). Argumentably, he's the oldest organism to ever exist in the universe! He somehow was frozen for billions of years until he melted in 1964.