The Monopoly Man

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The Monopoly Man is a member of the Barney Bunch and is the mascot and prime "character" in the classic board game, Monopoly. His favorite activities include shoving all the metal pieces up his *ss like d*ldis, and using the community chest cards to soak up all his c*m.

Why he joined the Barney Bunch

In the board game, you may have thought he had houses and hotels. Well you would be wrong then and you are about to be disappointed after all these years. The monopoly man actually owned f*ck-houses and g*y str*p clubs all over the United States on the game board. Drew Pickles found one of his str*p clubs on Park Place and he had to pay $69,000,000 to get in. He then began to r*pe every male in the club like hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha and then the manager, The Monopoly Man, walked out and started to say "What the f*ck is going on here" but Drew ripped off his top hat and shoved it up the Monopoly Man's *ss. Drew then c*mblasted him out of the buiding and then he landed on the "Go to Drewland" square, where he was then sent to Drewland. He loved Drewland so much, he never left. Since then, he's been the Mitt Romney of Drewland.

Secret Monopoly Minigame

If you have exactly $69 and take a di*rreah dump all over the Monopoly game board on Oreintal Avenue while playing as the car, the Monopoly Man will emerge out of the board and start to shove the dice up your *ss and watch them roll around in between your *ss cheeks. If the two land on a number adding up between 1 and 11, you will get r*ped by the monopoly man. If you get a 12, congratulations, because Drew Pickles will bust down your door and seize your *ss.