Ulfric Stormcloak

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Ulfric Stormcloak
Ulfric 2916.jpg
Personal Information
Birthday: August 18, 1948 (age 66)
Zodiac: Leo
Occupation: Viking, Jarl of Windhelm, leader of the Sploogecocks, anti-Thalmor activist, gay pimp
Residence: Drewland, Sveløya, Skyrim (1948-2011)
Nationality: Norwegian/Skyrimish (birth), Drewish
Heritage: Norwegian
Orientation: Homosexual
Groups: The Barney Bunch
Origin: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Penis Size: 80 miles long

Ulfric Stormcloak, better known as Ulfag Sploogecock, (born August 15, 1948) is a member of the Barney Bunch and the gayest man in Skyrim. He is the Jarl of Windhelm and the leader of the Sploogecocks. His mission is to become the High King of Skyrim so he can exterminate all the heterosexuals and females in Skyrim in order to make Skyrim the second gayest country in the world behind Drewland. He murdered the High King Torygg by raping him in the ass with his 80-mile long cock. Ulfric hates both the Empire and the Thalmor because they are all homophobes. His best butt-buddies are The Twisted Candy Viking, Alduin the Cock-Eater, Galmar Stone-Fist (aka Gaymar Stone-Cock), Ondolemar (who betrayed the Thalmor and became a bisexual among the M-san Bunch), Jarl Balgruuf the Greater (aka Jarl Balgruuf the Gay), Skjor, Delvin Mallory, Idolaf Battle-Born, Harkon (aka Fuckon), Miraak, Kodlak Whitemane, M'aiq the Liar (he finds M'aiq's lies very arousing), the male Dragonborn, the Greybeards, and Caesar from Fallout New Vegas.