| Zhang Fei
| Personal Information
Zhang Fei (pro. jaang fay), better known as Zhang Gay, (born August 27, 1953) is a member of the Barney Bunch and one of Guan Yu's prime butt-buddies. He is a very gay Chinese warrior who loves to rape men and decapitate women (outside of the M-san and Nonsexist Bunches) and homophobes with his spear, which has a dildo shaped like a snake's cock for a blade, and to get drunk on his favorite "wine", which is actually his own piss, Guan Yu's cum, and Ezio Auditore's shit mixed together. He also enjoys beating the shit out of enemies, such as Danny Cat, Pube Muppet, and/or The Straight King, and then forcing them to suck on his 190-mile long cock if they're heterosexual and male. Just like Guan Yu, Zhang Fei used to star in the Dynasty Warriors until he kicked out by KOEI for raping Zhao Yun and Lu Xun, anally molesting his son Zhang Bao, and beating his daughter Xing Cai to death with his cock. He then joined the Barney Bunch with Guan Yu to get revenge on them. He is also one of the very few "milkmaids" of the Barney Bunch; he sports an M-cup bust capable of lactating up to 900 liters of milk per second, and he enjoys having gay breastfeeding orgies with Ronald McDonald and King Dedede.
He also runs a butcher shop, where he sells only the finest cuts of meat from the cocks, testicles, asses, and man-boobs of gay male cattle, sheep, chickens, and pigs, as well as a liquor store, where he sells special "wine" made from his own piss, cum, and breast milk (but since he consumes "manly bodily fluids", along with severing man-boobs, testicles, and penises, he's forbidden from being a member/ally of the Nonsexist Bunch, who takes male genital mutilation about as seriously as they can get, just like The M-san Bunch). Additionally, he is also a gay pimp.
His best butt-buddies are Guan Yu, Liu Bei, Lu Meng, Ma Chao, Xiahou Yuan, Dong Zhuo, Han Dang, Guo Huai, Lu Xun, Wei Yan, Dian Wei, Chen Gong, Ieyasu Tokugawa, Mitsuhide Akechi, Yoshimoto Imagawa, Yoshihiro Shimazu, Gyuki the Penis Boar, and King Dedede. He also loves all the gay and/or bisexual male "milkmaids" in the M-san Bunch, even though some of them don't love him back.