The Old Gold Giant

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The Old Gold Giant
The Old Gold Giant.jpg
The Old Gold Giant prior to raping a bisexual woman
Personal Information
Birthday: January 1, 1915
Age: 102
Zodiac: Rooster
Occupation: Gay porn actor, rapist, stripper, folk hero
Residence: Drewland
Nationality: Earthling (birth), Drewish
Heritage: Austrian
Orientation: Bisexual
Groups: The Barney Bunch
Relationships: His toilet
Penis Size: 10 feet long

The Old Gold Giant, also known by his nickname OGG and/or his stage name as “Oogie Moobie” (pronounced oo-ghee moo-bee, b. January 1, 1915), is a bisexual, but highly cursed member of the Barney Bunch. Although he loves to fuck men in the arse with his golden 10’ penis, he is sadly spending about a quarter of the time (about 25-30%) on his golden toilet defecating penis-shaped fecal matter that resemble double-sided dildis. With a toilet custom-made for himself, he defecates after breastfeeding himself with his cum-stained man-boobs, due to the gay tit-jobs he give while performing fellatio and watching men cum inside his nipples. Sometimes, he’ll “breastfeed” his own penis, and sometimes end up getting his penis stuck to his mouth full of pearl white teeth from all the cum he has chugged down, or his milky man-boobies that, hence his curse, resemble a woman’s bosom. Due to his androgynous state, he sometimes, even if he can, refuses to leave his frequently cleaned mating bathroom in an underground system linking Bettyland and Drewland, which he built by himself around 1969 to have men worship his penis as he takes a shit, but also to bash the skulls of the homophobes and biphobes who've tried invading Drewland.

History & why He’s a Member

As a bisexual giant whose sexual orientation has been set in stone for over 80 years, he is saddened to know that he still finds women genuinely erotic, except dikes, because Drew Pickles has him [Oogie] kill lesbians, which Oogie himself sometimes murders without even needing Drew to ask him. Sometimes, Oogie might accidentally murder a closet bisexual woman. The reason why “we” say accidentally is that Oogie, if he can convert lesbians into bisexual/heterosexual women, will spare their lives and have them survive vaginal penetration from his penis, all 10 feet! This also keeps women away from trespassing into Drewland, but he was once severely injured by a then-misandric Arca in 1984, who found the underground system and shot his legs to cripple him. After 69 days at a Drewland hospital, he could walk once again, but could no longer have his anus penetrated, likely from Arca shoving a strap-on up his ass and raping him when he couldn’t escape. Due to the rape and crippling, Oogie now fears and mistrusts most Arcanines, especially Arca, who traumatized him. He also hates strap-ons, because he seems them as nothing but rapists’ tools. This is also why he never mentions sex toys in a positive light: not even penis pumps! Sometimes, Lillian of the Arcanine Family, one of two Arcanines he trusts and has had consensus sex with [the other being Alex], comes over to his house to tidy it up. After a thorough cleaning, she gives him foot-jobs as he fucks her husband Alex in the ass during a threesome. These three-ways are when Oogie would be at his happiest, because he hates having to shit so much.

Trivia

  • Oogie, contrary to popular belief, is neither a coprophile nor urophile, much to the disappointment of his two previously mentioned butt buddies.
    • He does, however, bear a sweat fetish and licks sweat off of Lily and Alex whenever he can, especially Lily’s clitoris.
  • Oogie is one of the only Barney Bunch members who have vaccines to most sexual viruses.
  • Oogie has a fetish for man-boobs and muscular women.
    • He’s in luck: he has Alex and Lily for both respective fetishes.
  • Oogie’s breasts jiggle with more bounce than his 50-lb. balls.
    • Speaking of which, Oogie enjoys testicular scissoring/frottage, where two men rub against each others’ testicles with their own testicles.
  • Oogie takes showers after every sexual encounter, but sometimes likes to have shower scene threesomes with Lily and Alex.
  • Oogie’s shit is often eaten by Barney Bunch members after being used for anal masturbation, much to his disgust.