The Quaker Queer
| The Quaker Queer
| Personal Information
The Quaker Queer, also known as Cum Oats, is a swell blonde homoerotic stripper who was the leader and mascot for Quaker Oats. You'll see him on every, thats right, EVERY single Chewy Oats wrapper. So beware!
The Quaker Queer was born on January 13, 1666. Since he grew up without internet, he was forced to make male sex dolls out of cornhusks. When he fucked the dolls, his dick would get shaved and raw. He soon switched to fucking male goats, and when he raped the all of them it sounded extremely swell! It sounded a little like yeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeye. When his family found out that he fucked their goats, they sent him to a monastery to become (hema cum) a Quaker Priest to stop him from raping farm animals. But it did not stop him, he raped every man and boy who came (lol came) to his church. Then in 1720, he took a long journey to Greenland and froze himself there until someone found his body in 1986. He was shockingly alive. It went on for many years until he was hired to be the perfect pedophile mascot of Quaker Oats. He was fired later in 2000. He then met Drew Pickles in 2009 and he became another member of The Barney Bunch and now plays a very important role in the group. The Quaker Queer's old-fashioned wooden cock is 200 miles long.
The Quaker Queer's voice can be heard in many MLG gay pornos.